Going through a separation or divorce is tough on everyone, especially children. At Children 1st Mediation, we understand how important it is to protect your kids and ensure they feel heard during these challenging times. Family mediation can be a valuable tool in navigating these transitions to make arrangements for your children.
But what does mediation actually involve for your child? This post will break down the different approaches we offer at Children 1st Mediation, keeping your child’s best interests at the heart of the process.
What is Family Mediation?
Family mediation at Children 1st Mediation is a process where a neutral, trained mediator helps parents communicate and reach agreements about important issues, such as parenting arrangements (where your child lives, how often they see each parent), financial matters, and other family-related concerns. Our mediators don’t take sides or tell you what to do. Instead, they facilitate constructive conversations, helping you explore options and find solutions that work for your unique family situation. We offer both child-focused and child-inclusive mediation services.
Mediation between the Adults
In many cases, mediation involves just the parents meeting with the mediator. This approach, sometimes called “child-focused mediation,” keeps your child’s well-being at the forefront, even though they aren’t directly involved in the sessions. Our mediators will encourage you, as parents, to consider your child’s needs, feelings, and perspectives when making decisions. They might ask questions like:
- “What are your child’s routines and how can we maintain stability for them?”
- “How can we ensure our child feels loved and supported by both parents?”
- “What are the best ways to communicate with each other about our child?”
- “What do you think your child might think/feel about the time they spend with each of you?
The goal is for parents to reach mutually acceptable agreements that prioritise your child’s emotional and practical needs.
Child Inclusive Mediation
At Children 1st, we also offer “child inclusive mediation,” where children have the opportunity to directly share their views and feelings with the mediator. This is done in a neutral and supportive environment, and it’s entirely voluntary for your child. No child is ever forced to participate.
What Does Child Inclusive Mediation Look Like?
Following on from both parents attending MIAMS, and a first joint mediation session with the mediation.
- Meeting with the Mediator: Your child will meet individually with one of our specially trained mediators, often in a comfortable and child-friendly space. The mediator will explain the process in age-appropriate language and emphasise that they can share whatever they feel comfortable sharing.
- Sharing Their Views: Your child might talk about their experiences, their wishes, and their concerns. They might draw pictures, play games, or simply talk. The mediator listens carefully and helps them express themselves.
- Confidentiality: What they share with the mediator is confidential, with very limited exceptions (such as concerns about their safety). This helps build trust and allows them to speak freely.
- Feedback to Parents: The mediator will then provide feedback to you, the parents about your child’s views, without breaking confidentiality. This means they only share what has been agreed to share with your child. It is really helpful for parents to hear and understand their child’s perspective when considering some of the decisions that are being made
Is Child Inclusive Mediation Right for My Child?
Child inclusive mediation isn’t suitable for every family. The mediators at Children 1st Mediation will carefully assess whether it’s appropriate, considering the child’s age, maturity, and the specific circumstances of the case. It’s important that both parents are supportive of the process, and must sign a document giving their support.
The Benefits of Mediation for Children can include:
- Feeling and being Heard: Child inclusive mediation gives children a safe space to express their feelings and have their views considered in decision making.
- Focus on the Child’s Needs: This enables parents to make decisions that are child centred and focussed on your child’s best interests, helping you as parents make decisions that prioritise their well-being.
- Reduced Stress: Mediation can help reduce conflict between parents, which is beneficial for children’s emotional well-being.
- Increased Communication: Mediation can improve communication between parents, making it easier to co-parent effectively.
Sorting things out with your ex can be tough, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re thinking about mediation or just want to know more about your options, we’re here to help. Get in touch by calling us at 0330 33 22 488 or emailing info@children1stmediation.co.uk
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