Helping families reduce conflict
What is Family Mediation?
Family mediation helps separating or divorced couples talk things through and make decisions together — rather than having a court decide for them.
A trained mediator helps you discuss important issues calmly and respectfully, such as where your children will live, how they’ll spend time with each parent, and how to divide finances or property.
Mediation is voluntary, confidential, and focused on reaching practical, long-lasting agreements that work for everyone.
How does the process start?
It begins with a MIAM — a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting.
You meet privately with a mediator to talk about your situation, what matters most to you, and whether mediation feels right.
If you both agree to continue, joint sessions are arranged to help you reach decisions step by step.
What can we talk about in mediation?
Pretty much anything that matters to your family, including:
- Where your children will live and how they’ll spend time with each parent
- How to communicate as co-parents after separation
- How to divide the family home, savings, pensions or debts
- Ongoing financial support
- Parenting arrangements that help children feel secure and loved by both parents
How long does mediation take?
Every family is different. Most reach agreement in just two or three sessions; others need a little more time.
Your mediator will guide you at a pace that keeps things productive without feeling rushed.
How much does mediation cost?
Mediation is always far cheaper and quicker than going to court.
If you qualify for Legal Aid, it’s free for you — and the other person’s MIAM and first session are also free.
If you’re paying privately, the mediator will clearly explain the fees at your MIAM so you know exactly what to expect.
Is mediation legally binding?
Agreements reached in mediation aren’t automatically legally binding, but you can ask a solicitor to turn them into a Consent Order or Separation Agreement.
Many couples do this once they’ve worked everything out through mediation.
What is child-inclusive mediation?
Child-inclusive mediation gives children the chance to have their voices heard safely and appropriately.
With parents’ consent, a specially trained mediator meets with your child privately. The child decides whether and how their views are shared — helping parents focus on arrangements that truly work for them.
Do children attend our sessions?
No. Parents and children meet separately.
Your child’s meeting is private and age-appropriate, creating a safe space for them to talk freely without feeling caught in the middle. Children can have their own session with the mediation sometimes called Child inclusive mediation, and the mediator will feedback anything your child wants to share to both of you.
Can mediation help with divorce finances?
Yes. Financial mediation helps you both be open about your finances and discuss how to divide assets fairly — such as the home, savings, pensions, and debts.
It’s an effective, calmer alternative to a long court process and helps you both make informed, balanced decisions about your financial future.
What happens if we can’t agree?
If mediation doesn’t lead to full agreement, your mediator can sign the relevant court form (such as C100 or Form A) so you can apply to court if you wish.
Even partial progress can save time, money, and stress later.
Is mediation confidential?
Yes. Mediation is a private and confidential process.
The only exceptions are when there’s a legal obligation to share information — for example, if someone is at risk of harm.
Can we do mediation online?
Absolutely. Online mediation is just as effective as meeting in person — and many families find it more comfortable and convenient.
You can join from separate locations, and shuttle mediation can still be offered online if you prefer not to meet face-to-face.
Mediation and MIAM Exceptions
These are the questions people often ask when they’re unsure whether they have to attend mediation — or want to understand the exceptions.
Do I have to go to mediation before going to court?
Before applying to court about child arrangements or finances, you must attend a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting). but you don’t need to attend Mediation.
Mediation is voluntary, so it’s not about forcing anyone to mediate — it’s about understanding your options first and the other options if you can’t resolve it between you.
Can I skip mediation and go straight to court?
Only in certain situations. The court expects you to have attended a MIAM unless there’s a valid exemption.
You’ll need to explain this on your application form (C100 or Form A).
What are the valid reasons for not attending mediation?
You may be exempt if:
- There are serious concerns about domestic abuse or safety
- There are urgent child-protection issues
- You’ve already attended a MIAM within the last 4 months
- You or the other person live abroad and online mediation isn’t possible
- There’s a risk of harm to you or your child
- The other person refuses to take part after being invited
Your mediator will help you check whether an exemption applies.
What if my ex won’t come to mediation?
You can still attend a MIAM on your own.
If your ex doesn’t respond or refuses, the mediator can issue the court certificate confirming you’ve fulfilled your legal requirement to consider alternatives to court. Your ex may then be required by the court to attend a MIAM.
What if I’m nervous about being in the same room?
That’s very common. Your Mediator will explain the options and help to make you feel as comfortable as possible. Sometimes it is possible to mediate in different rooms, but that can often be harder int he long run. That’s called shuttle mediation, where you and your ex are in separate rooms (or online breakout rooms) and the mediator moves between you.
What if mediation doesn’t work?
If you can’t reach an agreement, you can still move forward with a court application.
Judges generally appreciate that you’ve tried mediation — it shows willingness to communicate and focus on your children’s best interests.
What’s the point of doing a MIAM if I know mediation won’t work?
A MIAM isn’t about forcing you into mediation. It’s about understanding all your options, including mediation, and other alternatives to court, as well as how the court process works and what alternatives may exist.
Many people come expecting it won’t help — but leave feeling clearer and calmer about their next steps.
Why choose Children 1st Mediation?
We’re one of the UK’s leading family mediation services, offering children, financial, and child-inclusive mediation both online and in person.
Our mediators are professional, respectful, and dedicated to helping families find positive ways forward after separation — always with your children’s wellbeing at the heart of every conversation.