What is Mediation?

Maybe you have only recently separated. Or maybe you have been separated for some time but a dispute has arisen between you and your ex, maybe something to do with the children.You’ve tried to sort it out with your ex just between yourselves but you just ended up arguing.

You started with the best of intentions, and wanted to “do right” by your ex and/or the children, but now you can barely talk about anything, if at all.If this is you, come and talk to us about mediation.As a mediator, when I am exploring with one person in a one-on-one meeting whether they will try to mediate, I often hear that an ex is never going to change.

Once we get mediating, I often then gain huge satisfaction when the ex does change – indeed, when often both “sides” change! Mediators are trained to help people start to see things from the other’s perspective.

I love a cartoon that hangs on the wall in our office. One guy is standing on one side saying that the number on the floor in front of him “Is a 6”. The other guy is standing opposite saying “No, it’s a 9”! So often people come into mediation thinking the other guy is just plain wrong – is lying even – when it is much more usual for there not to be one “truth” but rather an issue is seen in a different way. In other words, from a different perspective. 

Where children are involved, it may be a case of helping both adults start to see things from the kids’ perspectives.I love to help people to start to address their disputes by understanding better where others are coming from. So often, I then experience how my clients start to “find a way through” the difficulties for themselves. I will have helped them explore the issues but they then work out a solution for themselves. Research shows that such a solution has a much better chance of lasting for the long term than one imposed from the outside, such as by a court.

So, if any of this might sound possible for you, give us a call!

Peter Shaw